*** Breaking News ***
Our beloved premier Michael D Higgins has been severely injured by the sharp bit at the end of a Cornetto. Supreme Leader Higgins was found motionless on the floor of his Áras bedroom this afternoon and was initially unresponsive but was revived enough at the scene to extend one finger in indication and say “The…Corrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrnetto” in a weak and infeebled voice. Being small and adorable The Eternal Leader Higgins was rushed to Temple Street Childrens Hospital.
In an unusual step Garda Commissioner Martin Callinan has called for the complete breakdown of public order and commanded that the chairman of Hazelbrook Farm be apprehended by a “pitch fork waving mob” and sacrificed to the esoteric Egyptian sun god Ra.
More on this story as it unfolds.
Now what I like about this post, aside from the obvious, is that this isn’t even the first usage of the phrase “Supreme Leader Higgins”, seeing as a Spanish-Irish dude called Bernardo O’Higgins was dictator of Chile at one stage.